9 June, 2009
I had to skip my amaths remedial, chemistry practical lesson and F&N remedial today. I am still sick. Flu, cough, sorethroat and slight fever. This time,with a heavy headache. I was trying to go school but failed. I cannot even walk to my house door. Its so heartache. I feel so guilty missing my extra lessons today. Speaking of my guilty, yes people...I am a guilty person...
I always feel guilty when I do something wrong. Why???...Because I know what's right and what's wrong. Some people know they do something wrong but they don't feel guilty. Which is worse?Doing something wrong and not feel guilty or Do something wrong and feel guilty?You be the judge.
Yes. I have to admit I consistently do something wrong,stupid and break people heart and feel guilty consistently. That I have to say its my fault. Sometimes I feel that it is a habit of mine. Somtimes, it is just my feelings. Feeling angry, mad, sad, disappointed intends to make us do something without thinking. These feelings sometimes we can't control them. When we are so mad with that person, we intend to say harsh things that will eventually hurt them and their feelings. That's what I've learnt from my personal experiences. Then again, I know what I did was wrong and I will always feel guilty when I hurt and made this person very mad which I never intend to do.
This person knows me very well and this person also knows that. People say I'm a jerk,mean and not a kind-hearted person. I have to agree with what that. I have done many wrong wrong things. I talk back at my friends, insult them from the back, make jokes about them, hurt their feelings, call them names. Hey, that's me when I am mad,frustrated,disappointed towards that person. You can ask around..Have I ever hurt people purposely???...Let them be the judge.Its only when I don't like that person because He or She Did something bad that affects me and my feelings. Something which make me angry,frustrated or disappointed. If not, I would not do such things. I am a very bad person in the past. That's true. I've learnt from my previous mistakes and I never repeat it again. Mean??..Everyone is mean...Then again, our feelings made us mean. When we are angry we intend to be mean and hurt others. I was one of them. When I was backstabbed, I intend to be mean because of my anger. It is also my fault that I didn't control my anger but pardon me,sometimes how hard we try to control our feelings,we failed.
I have done many many many terrible things which I regret. How much I wish I could turn back time and take back what I did in the past. If God could let us go back in time, our future will always be changing and people will not learn their lesson.The wrong things we did should be a lesson to us and learnt from it and use it for our future. Things that have happen cannot be undone. How I wish I could be a better person..A better bestfriend,A useful bestfriend,A responsible Bestfriend.I always let people down. The people closest to me...I'm ashamed to even look at them,talk to them.The things that I have done really have change their good impression of me. Just because of MY FEELINGS,The person I Cherish,Love,Teasure The Most Starting To Hate Me.Distance Away From Me.Disgust me.I Have Myself To Blame For What's Happening Right Now...I Just Have To Change. I'm Just Afraid Of Loosing That Person.
THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED CANNOT BE UNDONE.
I had to skip my amaths remedial, chemistry practical lesson and F&N remedial today. I am still sick. Flu, cough, sorethroat and slight fever. This time,with a heavy headache. I was trying to go school but failed. I cannot even walk to my house door. Its so heartache. I feel so guilty missing my extra lessons today. Speaking of my guilty, yes people...I am a guilty person...
I always feel guilty when I do something wrong. Why???...Because I know what's right and what's wrong. Some people know they do something wrong but they don't feel guilty. Which is worse?Doing something wrong and not feel guilty or Do something wrong and feel guilty?You be the judge.
Yes. I have to admit I consistently do something wrong,stupid and break people heart and feel guilty consistently. That I have to say its my fault. Sometimes I feel that it is a habit of mine. Somtimes, it is just my feelings. Feeling angry, mad, sad, disappointed intends to make us do something without thinking. These feelings sometimes we can't control them. When we are so mad with that person, we intend to say harsh things that will eventually hurt them and their feelings. That's what I've learnt from my personal experiences. Then again, I know what I did was wrong and I will always feel guilty when I hurt and made this person very mad which I never intend to do.
This person knows me very well and this person also knows that. People say I'm a jerk,mean and not a kind-hearted person. I have to agree with what that. I have done many wrong wrong things. I talk back at my friends, insult them from the back, make jokes about them, hurt their feelings, call them names. Hey, that's me when I am mad,frustrated,disappointed towards that person. You can ask around..Have I ever hurt people purposely???...Let them be the judge.Its only when I don't like that person because He or She Did something bad that affects me and my feelings. Something which make me angry,frustrated or disappointed. If not, I would not do such things. I am a very bad person in the past. That's true. I've learnt from my previous mistakes and I never repeat it again. Mean??..Everyone is mean...Then again, our feelings made us mean. When we are angry we intend to be mean and hurt others. I was one of them. When I was backstabbed, I intend to be mean because of my anger. It is also my fault that I didn't control my anger but pardon me,sometimes how hard we try to control our feelings,we failed.
I have done many many many terrible things which I regret. How much I wish I could turn back time and take back what I did in the past. If God could let us go back in time, our future will always be changing and people will not learn their lesson.The wrong things we did should be a lesson to us and learnt from it and use it for our future. Things that have happen cannot be undone. How I wish I could be a better person..A better bestfriend,A useful bestfriend,A responsible Bestfriend.I always let people down. The people closest to me...I'm ashamed to even look at them,talk to them.The things that I have done really have change their good impression of me. Just because of MY FEELINGS,The person I Cherish,Love,Teasure The Most Starting To Hate Me.Distance Away From Me.Disgust me.I Have Myself To Blame For What's Happening Right Now...I Just Have To Change. I'm Just Afraid Of Loosing That Person.
THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED CANNOT BE UNDONE.
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